


After Midnight + Mortifying Moments

by Anonymous



Series: Femslash (Friday) [3]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Drunk Sex, F/F, Fem!Ori - Freeform, Femslash, Femslash Friday, Fondling, Sex Toys, Stalking, Threesome - F/F/F, Voyeurism, bras are difficult to find if you have huge boobs, fem!Fili - Freeform, fem!Kili, fem!Nori, modern!AU, mutual stalking actually, nori is a very inappropriate older sister, ori is amateur mmartist, perhaps only in terms of MMA, the damn sex toy has a name therefore it's a character, wanking, well sort of but very vaguely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-17
Updated: 2013-05-17
Packaged: 2017-12-12 04:01:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/806992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili and Kili are Ori's neighbours. First she catches them in the middle of a midnight snack, then things somehow topsy-turvy into her favour. In a manner of speaking...</p>
            </blockquote>





	After Midnight + Mortifying Moments

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ibreathethroughwords](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ibreathethroughwords/gifts).



> OK! i'm done. i wrote this, and rewrote it, and rewrote it, and this is it. i can't make it better. it can only get worse.
> 
> for ^ thorinsaplusparenting, since the first is basically hers

**1** Ori peeked through the gap of her curtains, unable to look away, unable to make her presence known. She clenched her fist on the patterned cloth, synchronised with the pace set by her neighbours.

It was long after midnight, [they were clothed in cocktail dresses with generous cleavages.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/730814/chapters/1467869/)Their breasts bounced with every jerk, the younger twin bearing down on her sister’s cunt with single-minded determination, emptying the champagne bottle on their convulsing bodies.

**2** Fili arhed her back and undulated on the grass, bodies wet from falling drunkenly into the pool. Kili threw her head back, and Fili followed her lips an latched onto them, deep and wet and sticky.

Ori shook aginst her window sill, fingers digging deep into the curtains.

The sisters stilled, mouths slowing down, their kiss nothing more than tongue-rubbing at this point.

Ori sat, lip between herd teeth, she startled when she saw Kili lick in her direction, and Fili giving her a saucy wink.

**3**  The following morning, Ori tried to suffocate herself with her duvet. Sadly, it was too soft and comfortably warm to provide the sweet relief of death.

Perhaps they couldn't see _her_ and we just winking at some odd pervert? Perhaps she was just swimming in a post coital fantasy? Hopefully! It wouldn't do to be caught, and she hoped another opportunity would present itself.

There were no words to describe how guilty she was feeling about not feeling guilty for spying on her neighbours. Who were fraternal twins. Having midnight sex on their lawn.

Oh god, _she_ was the random old pevert...

"Well, well. I've waisted a trip. You're screaming your head off, thinking the walls thin and your duvet wound proof, but you're not masturbating?"

Ori shrieked and prompty rolled off the bed.

_"Nori!"_

Nori grinned, cheeky, and wriggled her eyebrows.

"Got bored of Janine already? An expensive make and model, I read on the website it could handle almost nightly use without overheating the motor, three years guarantee!"

_"Nori!"_

Ori leaped out of her bed, chasing her sister accross the hall. Nori ducked a wildly flung pillow, laughing so hard, one could barely understand her words.

"Oh dear heart, it's not like I haven't _seen anything_ before!"

"You promised you'd knock!"

"Beloved sister, I say many things, on the spur of the moment; what makes you so sure I'd ever miss the enchanting scene of you _riding Janine_?"

Nori's voice rose as she escaped her sister's clutches, and probably resonated outside into the open. Ori tripped and fell over the sofa, realised the windows were open and groaned.

Oh dear.

The rest of the day was, thankfully, less mortifying.

No it wasn't. That was an absolute lie.

By the end of the day, Ori was exhausted and quite wrecked. It seemed the two were following her wherever she went.

She covered Kili in fresh baked scones and cream when she bumped into old Baggins, as he scolded the brunette for stomping into his tiny vintage cafe with her muddy boots.

A flash of golden distraction and she slipped, knocking her sparring partner off his own feet and breaking several sand bags. Dwalin chased her from the ring and sent her home, his tense stature hiding the pain of his stiff back.

A bra fitting went catastrophically wrong when the door to Ori's stall opened, and the hooks unsnapped and the tense fabric flew straight into the intruder's eye. Ori forgot to lock the stall, Fili might be needing an eye patch.

_Mortifying_ couldn't begin to describe what Ori was feeling.

The following morning, Nori had already left for work. Ori felt like a crow decided to peck on her corpse.  
Morose, she poured herself a cuppa and was headed for her room when there was a knock on the door.

Well. This was it. The girls next door figured everything out, reported her to the police, she was going to maximum security and Nori and Dori were going to stuff her in a chastity belt. She'll have toask if she could smuggle Janine...

Ori unlocked the door, only opening it as far as the chain allowed.

Yep. There stood Kili and Fili, in jeans and jumpers, looking contrite. But no police. ... something was not right.

They stood like this, Ori behind her door, and the twins out in the open, for quite some time. Fili seemed to be muttering rehearsed words, her determination waning with every passing moment. The air between them thickened, it couldn't be any more awkward.

"How big are your tits, really?"

Apparently, it could. Fili struck Kili on the head - _of all things to say?!_ \- and received a kick to her shin for her troubles - _I panicked, alright!_

_I thought we agreed to approach her gently!_

_Well, genius, we've been dong that for months, then we got depressed and drunk, and yesterday we stalked her like freaks!_ Gentle _is not something_ we _are any good at!_

_Did you_ have _to go straight to her bosom?!_

_I **panicked**! You should be glad I didn't push my way in and lick her clean!  
_

Ori felt a giggle bubble out of her throat, the stress from the last day washing out of her system. These two were just as weird as she was.

That evening was to be the first of many they would spend togehter, and certainly not the least awkward one.

Fili and Kili had confiscated an expensive wine or six from their Uncle, and proceeded to ply Ori with them one glass at a time.

"I am immune to alcohol. It runs in the family."

"We have all the time in the world to test that hypothesis."

Fili had signed up for physical training with Dwalin in order to impress Ori.

"Do you even know what MMA is?"

"Miracles, mangoes and anchovies?"

"That... sounds quite awful. It's er... mixed martial arts."

Kili's breathing became noticeably heavy, warpping herself tighter around the ginger girl. "Professional?"

Ori meeped, trying not to spill her glass and discourage wayward hands at teh same time. "N-no, recreational. Though sometimes I compete in the amateur division just for fun-"

Kili shoved her glass in Ori's free hand, leaving her burdened with two frail containers and her own hands free to roam. She cupped her hands on Ori's breasts - good god, they were some _nice_ handfuls - and rested her chin on the shaking shoulder. "I know _something_ we could do for fun."

One undiscernable move and Fili wedged herself between Ori's thighs. "Would you like us to teach you? We know loads of fun stuff."

"Hm yes, have you ever done anythihng like this before?"

Ori pursed her lips, insensed. _"Have I-_ I'll have you know, I'm older than you!"

Fili snuck her hands in Ori's pants, Kili aiding her in her quest. Ori's face gave into a deeper shade of red, still holding the two glasses of wine and for all her ability to neutralise Dwalin, quite defenseless.

Kili took the opportunity to grab her arse and give the cheeks a squeeze, while Fili enjoyed her spot.

"Aye, older... and louder, and ginger, and Janine has siblings hidden in places even Nori doesn't know about. We're only five years apart, you and us. And we have a telescope, and you don't close your curtains." Fili elaborated when Ori choked.

"And..." Ori's trousers were tugged down, and she tried to quiet her breathing enough to hear the twin's whispers. "... your window's lock is a joke."

*** ~Fin♥

**Author's Note:**

> this was terribly difficult to write.
> 
> for one, this was shit as hell to write. with every sentence i could feel my wit leaking out of my ears. from now on? stiking to smut. it's easier. this just went on and on and on and on and would never stop... so i just stopped when my brain stopped. not very flowing a narrative, disconnected, bastardised, sewn together in a fit of panic.
> 
> [[besides, real athletes? muscles, fat, weight, strength. go ahead and imagine them all skinny if you want, just don't tell me.]]
> 
> for another, i watched all of got in 3 days. and i am really, really enjoying bronn/tyrion, otp, brotp, whatever tp you want, i'm taking it. smart guys and strong guys? pair off totally well.
> 
> now let me die.


End file.
